How To Leave An Unhappy Relationship



Threaten to leave.


Daydream about happiness.


Make promises to yourself about what you will and won’t put up with.


One day, in a flash of brilliance, find a way to track the validity of your choice, you know — the one you choose every day. The choice to stay.

Get out your calendar. Your daily planner. Make a tiny box in the upper right (or left) side corner of each day, near the number, and leave it empty until bedtime on that date. At bedtime, fill corner box in with either a smiley face (if the day, overall, felt that way) or a sad face (if the day, overall, felt that way.)

At the end of 30 days, observe the past 30 days. Acknowledge that the presence of even 10 sad face days would be too much, but there are more like 20. Acknowledge that you kinda maybe exaggerated a couple of the smileys.

Decide extreme value face calendar is not the way to determine the value of a relationship.

Wait approximately 7 more days. Until you’re crying on a walk with your dog again. Until neighbors and grocery store workers notice your eyes are always on the red side.

Stay a little longer.

Get your calendar back out. Plan to log another 30 days.

At day 15 (or was it 12?), put your pencil down. You’ve watched yourself hold it in between your index finger and thumb too many times now, the weight wanting to tilt downward, whether or not you allowed it too.

Tell someone you might leave. This time, not the person you are leaving.


{Note: though this was written by present-day me, it refers to a past life. Gratefully; so gratefully.}


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